he starts by

insulting you, belittling your feelings and calling you names. he pushes your flaws into the limelight and blows your insecurities out of proportion and secretly gloats at the sense of satisfaction he gets from doing that. he talks about you, and to you, with so much disrespect that his friends will either sympathise with you or think you’re the slut he makes you out to be. he knows he’s invincible, because in some twisted, unimaginable way, you need him to be there and witness your downfall as you crumble at his feet and mercy.

and then his ego inflates a little seeing how powerful the spell he has on you is. So he then realises that watching you cry doesn’t feed his ego as much anymore. how can you just, cry, when he’s up in flames with anger over something trivial you did that had upset him. It’s not his fault that he has an anger management problem is it. It’s not his fault if he felt like tugging at you until your elbows twisted just to show you who’s boss and then kick you in the stomach when he thinks you’re talking way too much. Well at least he cared enough to bring you to the hospital and told the doctors you fell down the stairs.

He didn’t bring you to the hospital, his guilty conscience did, just like how he apologised a hundred times everytime you thought you’re strong enough to pack up and leave.

Dee’s first

Dee was the girl next door. The problem with girls next door is that, they are never who you expect to be. Dee’s shy in a sense that she doesn’t talk to strangers, she refuses to look people in the eye, and she hates long conversations. That’s Dee, then, 15 years old. Young and lonely.

Dee had a handful of friends, but she never found comfort with them. She’d back out from their little gatherings when she simply doesn’t feel like it. Dee was simple. Plain and simple. Nothing too special about little Miss Dee.

That’s until, she met Zee.

Zee was her ex bestfriend’s brother, whom contacted Dee through the net, thanks to likes of Friendster.  They got re-acquainted, went out, and went steady- how 20th century is that word?

Dee was enamored by Zee, not just for his boyish good looks, but for the fact that Zee went to an elite school. A prize to bring home to mummy, isn’t he?

Zee was said to be the perfect gentleman. He paid for most of their meals, and movie tickets. Generous man, yes, he was. He made sure she walked on the inner side of the pavement along the road side. Made sure she sat first before he did and opened every possible door for her. As he was considered an elite, his parents were rather strict, making sure he’s home at least ten minutes before his curfew. Dee understood that the both of them could only meet on weekends. Weekdays, Dee’s nose was constantly plastered on the screen of her cellphone, waiting for a reply from perfect boyfriend, Zee.

This lasted 3 months.

Why?

Zee gave a reason, a completely stupid one, if I might add, that he needed to concentrate on his O Levels, and Dee and Zee, had to be over. He made this ridiculous promise of coming back to her after his O’s. Dee was left devastated.

Confused. Dee didn’t know what she had done. That’s until she got the biggest scoop of her life.

From a friend, she got to know that Zee was actually cheating on her, with 5 other girls. Practically, one girl for each day of the week. What lead Zee to ending all his relationships with them(including Dee) was for a girl from another elite all girls school; a worthy candidate to show to HIS mum and dad. From what Dee heard, not only was she smart, she was a vivacious vixen. Zee had to have her.

Unfortunately for Zee, the girl only wanted him for a while. Just someone who could teach her math. Dirty slut, good game, if I do say so myself.

Now, we are left to ponder, how could Zee, keep up with such an act, so consistent, and believable, with 5 other girls. HE ESTABLISHED A ‘PROPER’ RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. I find that very hard to keep up with!

Well, from what Dee told me, Zee had already suffered more than enough of a retribution. However, he’s back to his old ways of using girls like his playtoys. They don’t really change, do they?

Girls by Nic Kelman

You will let her dress you, let her teach you new dances, take you to new clubs, new bars, because even though you know it does not really matter, it matters to her. You will let her take you to a dirty Thai restaurant that has mediocre food and when she says, “How is it?” you will say, “Great,” and she’ll say, “I told you!” and you’ll leave it at that because you can’t explain and you’d rather she was happy and ignorant than informed and miserable. In fact it is because of this very quality that you are drawn to her and those like her and why you can never be with one too long. Because then they become like you, when they become informed, when they become tired like you, jaded. But when they still do not yet understand the world, they can still remind you of joy. They are little bundles of joy, they are. You can live your life through them even though you are dead. These little bundles of joy in string bikinis who are not too tired to go parasailing, still thrilled at the prospect of skydiving, who have not yet discovered that there is nothing worth discovering. You want to possess them, yes. But like a spirit, not an owner.

Where Will You Go

Hello, blog readers.

Qmatahari here.

This story is from a close friend of mine so its very personal and it really tugs at my heartstrings.

W was at a tender age of 14, a normal age whereby a lot of us exprience raging hormones and a deep interest in the opposite sex. We were willing to try out new things such as smoking, truancy and especially relationships. We see love as something so beautiful that we jump into a relationship whenever we can.

Alas, for W, she exprienced something not many 14-year-olds would comprehend and that is abuse from her boyfriend, S. (now ex, thankfully.)  She met 15-year-old S through a friend where they had to do many NDP reharsals. W found S to be really cute and she was quite impressed that he could cook. (Who wouldn’t a boyfriend that cooks well?)

W was thrilled to receive a sms from S one day. He asked if she would be his girlfriend and she agreed, happy and delighted of the good memories to come.

W made one of the biggest mistakes in her life.

S  was possesive of her and deprieved her of friends. She wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone in class for a long time. S not only abused her verbally but physically as well. He would hit and held her wallet hostage with the assurance that she returns to him. Many of her friends probably disrespected her because she stayed with them. Furthermore, many friends left, W had to face S alone.

W’s family were not too happy about her having this relationship.

You’re probably wondering, “What the hell is wrong with W?”

W, being the patient and kind hearted self always felt as if she was in the wrong and that she deserved what she got. She had that great fear that if she were to leave him, he would do something harmful to her. Can you really blame her?

She stayed in this relationship for almost two years.

One day,  enough is enough. W finally gathered up her courage and confessed to her teacher regarding S. Her teacher called the police. What happened to S, I don’t know. But this post is about standing up for yourself and having the guts to tell someone instead of suffering in silence. I applaud my friend for that. =)

Every relationship matters, whether it lasts or not. Whether it is good or bad for you because you learn what you can from mistakes and experiences. There is always something you can learn from suffering. It serves to make you stronger and you are also able to relate with others.

W has learnt that she shouldnt be too flirty, get too close with boys and provocative. But the most important less of all this: no one should be told what to do in that matter.

I love her and I’m so glad she found the strength to stand up very courageously against what was wrong.

We have spoken

She Speaks

When Q told me of her tale with AJ, I cannot help, but to ask her, “What is wrong with you?”.

Q typed coolly,”I was young and I wasn’t getting enough love from anyone.”

“Isn’t that a sorry excuse?”

“Yes, but I had to learn the hard way.”

With that, Q left the conversation.

We are left to wonder, why do girls, WE, girls, allow ourselves to even be in the situation. Is it because there lives a faint light, that he will change for you? Or is it because we are afraid to be alone or lonely. Hmm, or maybe you think you deserve it? Or perhaps, like me, qmatahari, we love these people so much that to the point of being blind to their faults. I am someone who doesn’t like confrontations and I will avoid them as much as possible. I was also a coward and I was afraid of what would happen if I left or rant it all out.

Now, Q mentioned she wasn’t getting enough love.

Love is probably one of the hardest words to define, given the fact that we all have our variations of love. Love is a very simple feeling, we are able to make more of it and give it to anyone we want (family, friends and even objects with sentimental values.)

I’m not that hyped out about getting boyfriend, I am a serial dater because mainly I’m more interested in friendship than intimacy. My love comes from my family and my friends so I rarely feel that I don’t get enough love.

If you are having problems with your family and you don’t have much friends, its understandable to want a lover. But you are forgetting someone that’s way more important and someone that will never ever leave and that person is you.

Loving yourself doesn’t make you selfish. It is building that internal self worth, the very core of your being that will never shake or falther no matter what others do and say about you. If this boy uses you and abuses you emotionally, never forget who you are.

When you love yourself enough, you will know that you deserve someone better.

And when you do, you will pull away from the relationship. It is going to be hard because maybe this boy has certain good qualities and you stayed for them. Isn’t love all about giving and taking and accepting one’s flaws? Well, that is true BUT a man who loves you will never beat you, will never belittle you and he won’t take advantage of you either.

Leave the relationship, pull away and tell yourself that you don’t need him. You are worth more than a casual fling or a random fuck. It is just so hard to do that, eh? You don’t need pain, you don’t need the criticisms. Unlike you, who has accepted his flaws, he clearly hasn’t accept yours.

Love and respect yourself people!

I hope I made some sense here because I am so sleepy, I have half a mind to hold my eyelids up with double sided tape.

We Have Spoken

Sengkang Stud

Well, hello angry netizen. It’s MK here, with our very first story. At the moment, we’re patiently waiting for response from those whom we’ve randomly tagged in order to get stories. Remember, there is nothing to be ashamed about. Share with us! We’d be more than happy to flame the little fucker for whatever it is he has done to you. Our solemn pledge and aim is to protect as many girls as possible from these dirty little pigs.

Ah, yes, but not all guys are bad right? Girls are little whores themselves. But think about it girls, if you let one guy use you, you’ll probably lose your self worth and self respect. We urge you to keep your stories coming in! Include his name, picture, email, his hang outs, his address even! We’ll provide other girls with every little information about these jerks, so they’ll stay away from them.

Our first victim, or should we say, badboy, resides in the very heart of Sengkang, directly opposite CHIJ St Joseph Convent. As told by a really vengeful and angry responder, he had slept with over 40 girls (and counting), where three quarters of them are slutty mamasans-wannabes, who are at least 3 years older than him. Yes, little AJ likes the experienced sort. However, whenever little AJ wants to play , like other 18 year old boys, he would turn to the nearest and most convenient place where girls of all walks of life, from 13-17 years of age, flock every weekday. Yes, the school. Ah, yes, the sweet and naive are the best to FAT-fuckand throw- aren’t they?

Hush Hush

You think he loves you
He swears he does
You believe in those lies
He hides a smirk behind a smile

Yet he breaks you
He shakes you
You fear his eternal wrath
You fear the words that sting you deeply

He shuts you behind blind logic
Claiming its for love and protection
Your tears that fall
It is all for love, you decide.

He crashes from the darkness
You feel the pain
He says he is sorry
But the bruises stay and they never leave

Calling you what you are not
Treating you like a slave
Lashing at you with words
All you do is listen with hopes of being a better woman

You want to leave
But you love him
He will change
A living hell will be paradise.

-Qmatahari

We have spoken.